The remaining items on men’s top 10 list not among women’s favorites had to do with aspects of sexuality frequently found to be higher in men: general sex drive (having sex more often), interest in sexual novelty (having sex in other parts of the house or in a hotel) and response to visual stimuli (watching partner undress). (No wonder one of the most frequently asked questions by men in my online Q&As is “how do I get my girlfriend to give me a blowjob?”) Only 21% of women rated giving oral as “very appealing ” it barely made their top 20 list. When you add those who weren’t overly enthusiastic but still found this act somewhat appealing, 77% of men reported enjoying giving oral sex compared to 58% of women. Interestingly, despite this talk of many guys supposedly being too macho or grossed out to go down on women, giving oral sex made it into the top 10 most appealing behaviors for men, but not women. 43%) found this very appealing, a gender difference that has been explained in many ways: from women’s higher self-consciousness about genital looks, smell and taste, to male partners being uninterested or incompetent in giving oral sex. Receiving oral sex made it to the top 10 for both sexes, although many more men than women (61% v. (In contrast, rough sex, and another act that seems ubiquitous in conversations and pornography these days, anal sex, were nowhere near the top 10 for either gender. However, in defiance of such stereotypes, three of the romantic items also made it to the men’s top 10, including cuddling more often, kissing during sex and gentle sex. In line with gender stereotypes, seven of the top 10 acts for women were related to romance and foreplay (cuddling, kissing, massages, watching romantic movies, gentle sex, etc.). This is an excellent reminder that there are no human universals when it comes to sex. (Lest you are tempted to attribute this to nonheterosexuality, only 1.5% of women and 6% of men in the study identified as lesbian or gay). Yet, even this wasn’t universally beloved by everyone: 11% of women and 16% of men found it unappealing. Some of these results aren't surprising, like the fact that vaginal intercourse, the sex act most critical for the continuation of our species, topped both genders’ lists. men Infographic by Zhana Vrangalova, data from Herbenick et al., 2017
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